Friday, September 4, 2009

You asked for it

An update on me:

I am in a hard place right now. My fibromyalgia seems to have returned. I know it was probably a matter of time, but sometimes pregnancy can make this kind of stuff go away forever, unexplained. I wanted to be in that teeny tiny percentage, but I'm not.

Last Friday morning, my left knee started hurting. Within two hours, I had shooting burning pain through my calf and pain radiating in my ankle down to my toes. My heel felt bruised for the next 2 days.

Then on Sunday, the same thing happened, but this time left shoulder to finger tips. Now every single night, my arm has a burning pain for hours on end. It hurts so bad.

I have a doctor appointment (rheumatologist) next Wednesday. He'll run blood tests again. He was looking for Lupus before I got pregnant, so he'll probably run that panel too. Basically, we'll be looking for the blood results to confirm an increase in inflamation at which point he will put me on medication.

Sadly, and I'm almost crying just typing this out, this will be the end of me nursing my baby girl. My goal was a year, and it looks like I've only made it to 6mo. I feel like my body is failing me. Logically, I always knew it was an option. In my heart, I made it so long without any pain at all. I wish I could say I can just tough it out, but I know my body and I know that if I let this go untreated it will only get worse. I know that formula is not poison, Scott and I were both on it as babies, but I also really wanted to give her breastmilk til she was 1. Scott has terrible allergies and I have lots of stomach issues, so I was hoping to help prevent those.

I'm really sad about it, dreading my appointment. At the same time, when my arm is throbbing and burning, I'm ready for medicine.

This weekend starts the rest of the year for us. Between now and the New Year, we'll be going to OK 4 or 5 times, spending 1 week then later 2 weeks there straight. We'll have family here a little, and celebrate 8 family birthdays (just mine and Scott's immediate families! Everyone but our moms and charlotte!). I've been dreading the start of this. When I get more stressed, it wreaks havoc on my body. I'll be ready for it to be all done.

In happier news, Charlotte will be 6 months old in just 2 weeks! I can't believe it! Scott and I just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary Wednesday. My parents are coming this weekend and are going to keep her overnight Saturday. We're going out for a nice dinner then sleeping at a B&B in town. I cannot tell you how excited I am to get a full night's sleep! We even decided not to go to church Sunday morning, so that we can sleep as late as possible. It will be nice, I'm really excited!

So, there you go, an update on me. ;)


Ms. J said...

How did the appt with the doctor go? I know very little about fibromy____ (and can't even begin to spell it without mangling it), but I know it's painful and a real pain to deal with :o(

Katie K said...

Hey, my heart goes out to you. Fibro seems to be our biggest enemy and I was praying that you would find some relief longer. I'm surprised it came back all of a sudden though. Let me know what they put you on. I'm here for you if you ever need to vent.